Friday, April 10, 2009
I just finished Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev today. I finished this gold nugget, diamond, mokume ring yesterday. The picture of my hand is very becoming isn't it? I need a hand model my hands are all tore up from making jewelry I just make the ring look really good comparably. haha You can read more about the ring in its etsy listing
This was my second reading of Turgenev's most famous work. The second reading is always the best you can catch things like "hoisted by the gripes" and laugh your ass off, and then when your sister asks you what you are laughing about you will tell her and she will look at you askance. She will think, "Jennie, is going stir crazy out here." What follows is a favorite quote of mine from the book it comes from Bazarov the main character who is the nihilist and the sort of character you hate, love, want to punch in the face or get racously drunk with and then at the end of the book feel sorry for.
While I think: here I lie under a haystack. . . The tiny space I occupy is so small compared to the rest of space, where I am not and where things have nothing to do with me; and the amount of time in which I get to live my life is so insignificant compared to eternity, where I've never been and won't ever be. . . Yet in this atom, this mathematical point blood circulates, a brain functions and desires something as well. . . How absurd! What nonsense!
I feel like that, a nihilist, my existance is silly. I would suggest this book to anyone who feels like nothing matters... to show that person that your belief in nothingness will fall flat in front of your emotion. Bazarov and Arkady find this out, they both fall in love, however Arkady makes out better than Bazarov who meets his nothingness unpleasantly.
It was odd, I woke up this morning and my mother was in my room and she told me she would buy me a plane ticket anywhere I wanted so I could get on with my life. I told her I would hitch hike.