What I have learned during my experimental hermit phase

• Hoola hooping and singing is a good way to spend an evening.
• Friends make all the difference in your sanity.
• Reading can't replace your own life experience.
• Having the tools you need at hand would be nice and was not fully appreciated by me till I had to work in my ghetto studio with no crucible or rolling mill.
• I can get creative and make beautiful jewelry with few tools.
• Pirates think I am the cats pajamas.
• Training a puppy is hard, also puppies are cute. and bad.
  
• Drinking alone is not very fun. George Thorogood lied to me.
  
• Yoga is awesome.
  
• I can't support myself using etsy, I need a job.
• Smoking is boring and expensive.
  
• I learned how to quit.
  
• I learned how to enjoy being alone.
• I also found out that I am beautiful.
• poetry needs a muse, you can't write a thing if you don't feel like it.
  no matter how much poetry you read or how shitty you feel.
  
• I did cartwheels well for the first time in my life.
  
• frogs are annoying
• a fried egg in the morning with some drip coffee is the best breakfast, you can eat it everyday and still like it. though granola and raisins also helps make it good sometimes.
  
• cars make me anxious, angry, nervous, sick. they hurt my head. avoid them!
• I found out what a real electrical storm looks like. I have felt it rumble my ribs and I will miss it.
• places where everyone knows your name are nice.
• I need to see my friends.
• 

Fathers and Sons, Diamonds and Dung

I just finished Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev today. I finished this gold nugget, diamond, mokume ring yesterday. The picture of my hand is very becoming isn't it? I need a hand model my hands are all tore up from making jewelry I just make the ring look really good comparably. haha You can read more about the ring in its etsy listing
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23510538

This was my second reading of Turgenev's most famous work. The second reading is always the best you can catch things like "hoisted by the gripes" and laugh your ass off, and then when your sister asks you what you are laughing about you will tell her and she will look at you askance. She will think, "Jennie, is going stir crazy out here." What follows is a favorite quote of mine from the book it comes from Bazarov the main character who is the nihilist and the sort of character you hate, love, want to punch in the face or get racously drunk with and then at the end of the book feel sorry for.

While I think: here I lie under a haystack. . . The tiny space I occupy is so small compared to the rest of space, where I am not and where things have nothing to do with me; and the amount of time in which I get to live my life is so insignificant compared to eternity, where I've never been and won't ever be. . . Yet in this atom, this mathematical point blood circulates, a brain functions and desires something as well. . . How absurd! What nonsense!

I feel like that, a nihilist, my existance is silly. I would suggest this book to anyone who feels like nothing matters... to show that person that your belief in nothingness will fall flat in front of your emotion. Bazarov and Arkady find this out, they both fall in love, however Arkady makes out better than Bazarov who meets his nothingness unpleasantly.

It was odd, I woke up this morning and my mother was in my room and she told me she would buy me a plane ticket anywhere I wanted so I could get on with my life. I told her I would hitch hike.

What I've Read Recently

Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford was at once entertaining and educational. So much of how Genghis is portrayed in popular media is negative, it is almost ridiculous. Before I read this book I knew that the mongols terrorized and exacted tribute from the Rus but more importantly united them and they benefited from their example and their contact. Almost all of the lands that the Mongols conquered benefitted in the long term from their subjugation. Europe benefitted the most, they didn't get pillaged and raped but recieved technology from the Far East and mathematics from the Middle East. The Mongol rule made possible the dissemination of language, technology, plants, and most importantly ideas. While they ruled it was the safest time to travel the silk road, and trade was easy because they had a common currency from the Black sea to Korea something that till this day hasn't been achieved again.
Genghis didn't start trying to conquer people other than his own till he was 40, yet he conquered twice as much as any other man in history. I will leave you with two quotes directly from the book, both are from page xxiv of the introduction.
Seemingly every aspect of European life-technology, warfare, clothing, commerce, food, art, literature, and music- changed during the Renaissance as a result of the mongol influence. In addition to new forms of fighting, new machines, and new foods, even the most mundane aspects of daily life changed as the europeans switched to mogol fabrics, wearing pants and jackets instead of tunics and robes, played their instruments with the steppe bow rather than plucking them with the fingers, and painted their pictures in a new style. The Europeans even picked up the Mongol exclamation hurray as an enthusiatic cry of bravado and mutual encouragement.
Genghis was pimp as demonstarted by the next quote.
Unlike any other conqueror in history, Genghis Khan never allowed anyone to paint his portrait, sculpt his image, or engrave his name or likeness on a coin, and the only descriptions of him from contemporaries are more intriguing than informative.
As you can tell there is too much to tell here so I suggest you read the book.

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert is said to be one of the top ten novels of all time. You can do without reading it though. I say that because it is so depressing, in fact the whole novel is about Emma Bovary being depressed and unsatisified with her life. I was made very uncomfortable by the parallels in the book and my psyche. I guess I would suggest it anyways, it was a very good book. Dostoyevsky can make me cry but Flaubert makes me suicidal.
Emma is so dissatisfied with everything that comes her way, cheating on her husband brings joy into her life till the relationship fails. She barely cares for her daughter and is disgusted by her devoted husband. I like depressing books and this was more depressing than I really like. I like to fight fire with fire but this book was too much. Imagine me on the porch drinking scotch and reading Flaubert wishing I still smoked cigarettes and that a bolt of lightning would hit me.
I will leave you with two quotes from the book.
Everything, even herself , was now unbearable to her. pg 215
He did not dare question her; but, seeing her so skilled, she must have passed, he thought, through every experience of suffering and of pleasure. What had once charmed now frightened him a little. Besides, he rebeled against his absorption, daily more marked, by her personality. He begrudged Emma this constant victory. He even strove not to love her; then, when he heard the creaking of her boots, he turned coward, like drunkards at the sight of strong drinks. pg 208

It really is a good book.

Masterpiece

1978: THE FIRST SPECIAL SESSION ON DISARMAMENT - NEW YORK
Bronze statue entitled, "Let Us Beat Swords Into Ploughshares" by Evgeny Vuchetich, presented to the UN by the Soviet Union in 1959. The statue symbolizes man's desire to put an end to war and convert the means of destruction into creative tools for the benefit of all mankind. UN Photo #153721 by J. Isaac.

taken directly from the UN website. It shows he statue that was the inspiration for the United Nations 25th anniversary coin that was my inspiration for a new necklace.

The necklace took me a very long time to make. The coin I used was very large and thick, very hard to saw apart. I spent hours filing around the figure of the man in mid swing. I am still unsure as to what to call it. I am writing an artists statement about what the different elements mean to me. The bricks are a reference to Solzhenitsyn's novel A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, Ivan as a prisoner in a gulag can only control one part of his life. He takes great pride in his work as he lays bricks. This is significant because at the time the Soviet Union was beginning to let up on authors a bit to let them express themselves. Censorship was still a problem when this coin was minted, the coin suggests peace and hope, freedom however was not readliy available for those whose ideas did not parallel the governments. Solzhenitsyn also laid bricks during his time in the gulag and paid the price for his writings. He also won the Nobel prize in literature in 1970 and was able to recieve it when the Soviet Union deproted him in 1974.

more on my statement later....

I will post my paper and the title when I figure it all out. I was just too excited after finishing it not to share.

The best thing I have ever made

This is my brothers wedding ring. It is the best thing I have ever made...to date and not forever hopefully. I has one diamond set in gold on a mokume gane and silver band. I spent a lot of time on it and am very proud of it. He will have a daughter by Thursday and I will be an aunt!

Drunken Dallas

This is one side of the Double Wide a hip dive bar in Dallas. I would recommend it to all who want cheap good drinks, a good varietal of music, and retro art vibe surroundings. It is a venue I haven't seen any acts there but would be more than enthused to do so while I am in Texas. My Jamesons I was drinking were bought for me but they were only 3 dollars apiece. The decorations would have been horrifying by themselves but as a whole worked out rather well. All the staff working that night seemed like cool cats and were extremely welcoming and friendly. It is not far down Commerce st I think its address is 3500. I was told this is the sketchy neighborhood but at 2 am I was the only sketchy person to be seen! The bar is a must see for kitsch and its outdoor patio.

note in mural above a franken Elvis.

I had a good 21st birthday at this bar and some others in Deep Ellum, I just wish I had more friends to take down there with me.

In other news of existence I am gaining a great appreciation of westerns. My Gpa watches them all the time and there are some that are pretty cool. And on another note I need another career I can no longer make jewelry. If you have any suggestions as to what I might be able to do I would greatly apprecaite them. I think this whole artist poet thing will drive me to my grave at 35 or so. I might still do it because it still sounds romantic to jump out the window of a hotel room in New Mexico after drinking too much absinthe and smuggling my lover over the border or something. But the whole thing is rather stressful being creative and such all the time. Some of my friends in college I imagine think, "oh I wish I was like Jennie making stuff, not having finals, drinking, writing..."

NOt so I desperately wish I was still in school at Evergreen. And try writing an essay without someone telling you to! Its hard. I went back and revised my whole 15 page paper from my last quarter I was in school on a whim. I was bored tired of being creative and not collegiate.

But mostly I think it is Texas. Texas is the reason!

And when I get to Mexico everything will be alright.

TETANUS

Everyday I am glad I have a very recent tetanus shot. And my puppy makes me feel better about having to pull a broken saw blade out of the meat of my middle finger.

ON a different note of ADORNMENT. The Lucky Charm! I posted this today on etsy, I got the poker chips from the DLC Gallery. They were going to be thrown away, I saved them. Now they are lucky bracelets.

The wearable icon I made for a Russian class. The design is my approximation of oklads (the boxes that protect all but the face and hands of an icon). There are far more varieties of icons of Mary in Russian iconography and religious use than of any other figure; Marian icons are commonly copies of images considered to be miraculous, of which there are hundreds: "The icons of Mary were always deemed miraculous, those of her son rarely so". Icons of Mary most often depict her with the child Jesus in her arms.
I repoussed the front of the box. The stone is ametrine, citrine and amethyst grown together. The stone came from the Anahi Mine in Bolivia. "Citrine is associated wit the third chakra (self esteem) while amethyst is connected to intuition and introspection. It follows that the stone signifies the transition between corporeal and spiritual attributes. " from the gem section of the complete metalsmith.
I put the Holy Virgin of Guadalupe in there to fill the space. The wood inside is still unpainted and is pine the traditional wood for icons.
I have a 15 page paper written on oklads and wearable icons, two more icons, videos of me making them, and pictures of the process. Little too much unless you are intensely interested in Russian Orthodox Icons.

One of the things I posted today on etsy. This is not the best shot but I thought it was the coolest. The background is oil pastels my dad gave me the other day.

I hear coyotes howling every night. I get bitten by bugs, and stay outside into the night. It is a frigid winter haha a whole 54 degrees outside. The weather is heaven....till it gets hot and humid.
Effie found herself a buzzard egg and is trying to make it hatch. I don't think it will. I told her never to be an egg thief again.

I wish I had my own jet. That is on my list of essential items I will need when I move to Russia when I am 35 and a multi millionaire.
That or I wish I lived closer to my friends.

Valentine's Day

I got some chocolate from my father.

I miss cleaning and singing. So that is what I did today. When everyone came home they were inspired by my having cleaned the house. So now they have decided to re paint the porch and reupholster the wicker seating set. So cleaning the house got me more than I bargained for. I am letting the repainted wicker dry in the shed now.

I am watching the Addams Family right now with my sisters. Great movie I think, I love morbid humor like Edward Gorey's illustrations too.

I will leave you with a picture of where I want to be again. And hopefully can visit, Olympia.
Soren is not actually a foot taller than me, this was taken on a little foot bridge we used to visit a lot in the forest.

Swearing

Which I have done a lot of lately.
Could be my chorus.
mood dictated by
how metal reacts to my hands.
Cutting a patina
of blood on copper.

My Tinker Studio

I must be technologically inept. I can't put my little flash mini etsy shop anywhere!!!. I tried putting it up in vain on this blog and again on my facebook the only place it worked was myspace. Alas shit happens.
I have quite the little production going in a garage in Texas. It is the best nest I could wish for, there is a fridge with beer in it. I have a bunch of cool projects I am working on that I might not even try to sell because they will be too cool. The one will be a big necklace reminiscent of European war medals of the 18th century. I am making it out of three red stones, working title Communist Read. It has a United Nations 25th anniversary coin(1945-1970) I spent hours trying to saw apart exactly. I have made a lot of progress on it I am just trying to do it perfectly so I am taking it slow. The piercing has taken me the longest and assembly of all the parts will be difficult. The title refers to the difficulties writers faced in Russia, and their triumphs. With special focus on Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. The pattern pierced on the back of the red stones is brick like and red. In A day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich Ivan lays bricks all day and takes pride in his work in the gulag. I thought this was inspiring... pride in forced labor, but it is his only way to show his mettle, character, abilities. Ivan would look at my bricks and tell me they were screwed up. Of course this piece wont have a designated front or back but can be worn either way. And will have a better artists statement after I formulate all my ideas better.
I also have a small scale sculpture with a coin, rocks, leather, wooden beads, poker ship, silver on the theme of unrequited love but have been taking my time on it or still vainly hoping.
I have also started a little production line making copper books. In a jewelry class they will tell you not to clamp your metal together to saw it. Well I did it a couple times and they tell you not to do it because it is hard as hell but also quicker aka cheating. I got etching mordant for my copper so I can do some really cool stuff now.

With the photos of my studio above we will play a little search game.
FIND: wheelchair, daffodil bloom from the front yard, poker chips, my ipod, my phone, my pack of cigs, I am just joking. It is a busy little place. I was untying knots in a chain and someone came up behind me to look over my shoulder waited there for a minute watching me. It pisses me off so much when people do that come stand directly behind me when I am doing something. My Gpa came out while I was soldering and offered me a spoonful of tuna salad. Just kind of waved it in my face as my solder was about to flow and I was going to get a perfect conection. FUCK the tuna salad. So the only bad thing about my studio, is that to be left alone I have tell them to not talk to me on pain of a tongue lashing.

Fire Works

There were no fireworks tonight.
Today doused coolly
something I didn't take well.
My usually sharp mind failing
to come back conversely
at all from the shock
of his tactfully curt diffusement
of my very short
very flammable
fuse.
An internal display of hurt colored
gunpowder burst
inside spontaneous
human combustion.
My shrapnel punctured heart
bleeding an energetic acetylene gas
that when I drink this bottle of gas station gin
and smoke a pity cig
will ignite.
The blast sending me off in any direction.
I am aiming my tires, horn, and antique bike
down 5th street
see HOW FAR
this unseen fire display send me.